I am thankful for beautiful people in my life, including my daughter, Samantha, and my dear friend, Carole, who was very close to my mother throughout her life, and, who represents all that is good from my childhood. Carole lives a life of goodness and gratitude and brings deep joy to my heart and soul. Many Jewish people, however, like Carole and myself are struggling deeply with what is happening in Israel. The question, therefore, is can we still have gratitude in the midst of the suffering and pain in life?
We celebrated Thanksgiving last week, but there are many Jewish people who do not feel very thankful this year because of the war in Israel as well as the rampant antisemitism that has broken out on college campuses and in cities throughout our country, including New York City, where I grew up. Many of us are in total shock over this ever-worsening scenario and we keep wondering if we are ever going to wake up from this horrible nightmare. The intensity of the hatred and the sheer volume of the numbers of people, in all walks of life, who are not only calling for the annihilation of Israel, but also the eradication of Jews everywhere is something that is almost too much to bear.
So, how can we give thanks in the midst of the turmoil in the world, anxiety in our hearts, and uncertainty regarding what awaits us in the days to come? How can we be grateful if we are fighting a terminal illness, if a family member has recently died, or if we are overwhelmed with sorrow and anger about what is happening in the world? Is it even possible or correct to do so?
The Hebrew Bible repeatedly tells us to give thanks to God because His steadfast love endures forever. In fact, that phrase, “Give thanks to the Lord for he is good; for His steadfast love endures forever,” is repeated 26 times throughout the psalms and in other passages of the Hebrew Bible!
Does God want us to lie and to put on a happy face? No! God is not into denial, therefore we need to understand how we can cultivate an attitude and a lifestyle of gratitude, what I like to call ‘Thanksliving,’ in the midst of our suffering and problems.
Scientific research has shown the enormous health benefits of thankfulness even in the midst of suffering. No one feels grateful that he or she has lost a job or a home or good health. But there is a difference between feeling grateful and being grateful. We don’t necessarily have control over our emotions and we cannot easily will ourselves to feel grateful, less depressed, or happy.
But feelings flow from the way we look at the world. Being grateful is a choice and a perspective from which we can view life and not be overwhelmed by circumstances. Scientific research has found that gratitude is strongly and consistently associated with greater happiness. Gratitude helps people:
Feel more positive emotions. Enjoy good experiences. Have greater health. Improve the way we deal with adversity and build strong relationships with others and with our community.
Children, teenagers and adolescents who feel gratitude are 20% more likely to get excellent grades.
Grateful people also:
Have 10 percent fewer stress-related illnesses. Have blood pressure that is lower by 12 percent.
Live up to 7 years longer than unhappy or people who are not thankful and have 7 percent higher income than non-grateful people!
The Bible made this proclamation long before it was recognized by science. King Solomon, in the Book of Proverbs in the Hebrew Bible, said, “A cheerful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones,” – Proverbs 17:22. We see evidence of this with stress-induced heart attacks, debilitating depression and severe anxiety.
So, how do we handle the trials and suffering that come upon us and that we see throughout the world? We must first understand that suffering can refine and deepen gratefulness if we allow it to show us not to take things for granted.
It may be surprising to know that the Thanksgiving holiday was born out of hard times. The first Thanksgiving took place after nearly half the pilgrims died. It became a national holiday in 1863 in the middle of the Civil War and was moved to the fourth Thursday of November in the 1930s following the Great Depression.
When times are good, we take prosperity for granted and begin to believe that we are invulnerable. But in times of uncertainty, it becomes much harder to take for granted all the good that we have in life.
It is good, then, to consciously cultivate an attitude of gratitude which builds up a sort of psychological immune system that can cushion us when we fall. This does not mean that we try to ignore or deny suffering or pain. This way of thinking can lead to alcohol or drug abuse and any number of other health problems because we mistakenly think that stuffing our pain will make it go away. And, of course, it does not. What we can do, however, is to realize that we have the power to transform an obstacle into an opportunity. We can do this by thinking:
What lessons can I learn from this experience? How am I now more the person God wants me to be because of this experience? What ability did the experience draw out of me that I will now be able to use in other ways in life? How can I use this experience to help others?
I’d also like to share some simple ways to cultivate a life of gratitude.
Keep a daily gratitude journal. Write down the things for which you are grateful. Do you have food on the table, a roof over your head, a warm bed and people who love you? These are things we should not take for granted because we know that life can, and often does, change in an instant. Also, make a practice of paying attention to gratitude-inspiring events and write them down. Did you see a beautiful sunset? Did you hear the morning birds singing? There is beauty all around us, as the old adage says, when we stop and smell the roses.
Write thank you notes which will help you feel happier as well as nurturing your relationships with others. Doesn’t it feel great when you get a thank you note from someone? Yes! Writing a thank you note takes such little effort and means so much to people.
Hang around with people who are grateful and make a commitment to be one of those people.
Do not watch the news 24 hours a day, seven days a week. I am not saying that you should not know what is going on in our world, but the constant intake of bad news is not good for you mentally, psychologically, or emotionally.
Change your self-talk by focusing upon the things for which you are grateful. Instead of worrying, meditate upon the encouragement found in the Bible and focus upon God and all the good things that He has done in your life.
We can always thank the Lord because the Bible tells us that His steadfast love endures forever! As we meditate upon Bible verses of God’s goodness and think about His love and faithfulness to us in times past, these things can help us to live a thankful life.
As I mentioned previously, this Bible verse is repeated 26 times in the Hebrew Bible:
“Oh give thanks to the LORD, for he is good; for his steadfast love endures forever.” If we truly believe that God is good and that His love for us endures forever, what a different way of life we would lead.
During this season of Thanksgiving, I encourage you to set aside some time to think about the good things that you have in your life, to consider the fact that God’s love for you is unfailing, kind, generous and everlasting. This is why, even in the midst of trials, sorrow, anxiety and uncertainty in our lives we can always give thanks to the Lord because His love endures forever.
His Love Endures Forever Blog 